At Bristol Grammar School, we believe that for pupils to thrive – both in the classroom and beyond – they must feel emotionally secure, valued, and supported. Enjoying school, forming positive relationships, and developing confidence in who they are, all depend on feeling safe and understood. That’s why pastoral care is at the heart of everything we do. We know that when a child is supported emotionally and socially, they are far better equipped to succeed, not just at school, but in life.
Central to this ethos is the philosophy of “Curious, Not Furious,” championed by Deputy Head (Safeguarding) Fran Ripley, who believes that supporting young people begins with noticing and listening. “Behaviour is communication,” Fran explains. “When children are struggling, they may not always have the words to tell us – but how they act gives us clues.” This applies not only to moments of poor behaviour, but to any signs that a pupil may be experiencing emotional or social challenges. A sudden change in attitude, a lack of engagement, or simply a missing blazer might be the first sign that something isn’t right.
Rather than respond with frustration, staff are encouraged to pause and “ask the next question.” This mindset is about more than just managing behaviour – it’s about offering timely, meaningful support. “Being curious tells pupils that we’re interested in them,” Fran says. “That interest helps them feel safe, seen, and secure.”
This supportive approach does not remove the need for boundaries. “Students need boundaries,” Fran affirms. “It’s not that we ignore behaviour, but we try to understand where it’s coming from – which means we can respond in a way that supports them, not just disciplines them.” Clear expectations are maintained, but they are delivered with compassion and context.
A vital part of this support system is the continuity of form tutoring from Year 7 through to Year 11. This long-term relationship helps staff recognise when something is out of character and act early. “Everyone knows it’s a five-year journey,” Fran notes. “There’s space to build trust, and to work through the difficult moments together.”
At BGS, Curious, Not Furious is more than a catchphrase – it’s a way of being. It shapes how we support pupils through challenge, how we build relationships, and how we help every child feel able to flourish as themselves. The approach has had a visible impact, particularly among older pupils. As teenagers seek independence, they may become less communicative but small, daily check-ins can open doors. “Sometimes it’s just a smile or a quick question that shows a pupil you care,” Fran shares. “That’s often all it takes for them to start talking.”
Ultimately, this way of working helps pupils feel understood and supported — not only during times of visible struggle, but also in more subtle moments of emotional need. Fran’s hope is that this experience will stay with them into adulthood: “We’re raising future doctors, teachers, MPs. If they can take this mindset of curiosity and kindness with them, the impact will stretch far beyond our school walls.”